The Greeks got a lot of things wrong– Aristotelian mechanics, a supposedly coherent and internally consistent mythology, slavery, work ethic, economics in general, geocentrism, and Zach Galifianakis.

But, in fairness, the Greeks got three things right: democracy, food, and making a ton of money by peddling said food to us non-Greeks. And each of these three things came into play when I tried the Greek dessert καταιφι (kataifi).

I knew they got their food right because it was delicious. And I knew they were good at peddling it to non-Greeks because I spent a ridiculous amount of money buying pastries. But the democracy part took me by surprise, as the very ideal of democracy was embedded in the preparation– nay– the design of the food.

The most interesting thing about kataifi is that it appears to have very little substance. It is comprised of countless pieces of what we might call “shredded wheat,” wrapped around pine nuts (or walnuts or pistachios in some cases) and smothered in honey.

Each strand of dough is separate, twists and bends in its own way, and stands apart from the whole. Yet each contributes to the whole through its uniqueness, as the disparate and sometimes random microshapes add a new dimension to the flavor, enhancing the dessert through a sense of unpredictability. And yet all of these strands are united around the core of pine nuts. When you take a bite, you could swear you had eaten something denser and more flavorful than was actually the case. And in this dynamic dichotomy– the interplay between part and whole, individual and community, randomness and order– we find the profound Greek understanding of the democratic ideals that they introduced thousands of years ago, an experiment in governing that continues to this day.

And that rapturous revelation may be just enough for us to forgive them for Zach Galifianakis.

Friends, you have just undergone an experiment. Without your knowledge or consent, we at chicken and rice put you, good reader, on the Atkins Diet–high in beef, low in rice. However, like all great experiments, this too must come to an end so that we may once again reflect on the propriety of the status quo. As our highly skilled research team tabulates, sub-totals, and box-and-whisker plots the data, we ask you, good reader, how do you feel? Do you feel 15 pounds lighter with a new spring to your step, or are you riddled with ulcers and other vile things? Can you go about your business, or was this really the diet you were looking for?

Luckily for us all, your opinion matters very little. So very little–when we have so much data. And so our research team will work throughout the night, doing the things that research teams do best, and in the morning, we will see which food groups belong at the base of the pyramid.