Friends, rather than bore you with futher tales of harrowing exploits and delicious conquests, I feel that I should change up a bit to answer a question: what sound does a rooster make?

Many would say that the answer is simple. However, in delving deeper, I discovered hidden complexities which challenged my previous conceptions of evolution, the meaning of life, and what sound a rooster makes, and proved to me, once again, that the world is a soccer ball.

In the U.S., the rooster says cockadoodle-doo. In Spain, the rooster says kikiri-kee. In Croatia, the rooster says cucuroo-coo. Thus brings up the obvious question–why the difference? Are there different variety of rooster? Do they speak different languages? Scientific evidence suggests that neither is the case, so what could possibly justify such discrepancies? Is it possible that society is itself imposing what it wants to hear on these delicious animals?

Let us first look at the U.S annunciation. It begins with cock, i.e. to be cocky, continues with doodle, as in yankee doodle, and ends with doo, or perhaps just do. Thus, cockadoodle-doo roughly translates to “cocky yank, just do it”, which itself is similar to “git ‘er done”, a standard rallying cry for much of this great nation. The fact that the rooster signals the coming of the dawn is of no surprise. It is a signal, reflected in its call, of the American drive to get it done, and early.

For the sake of brevity, I will not delve into the etymolgies of the Spanish and Croatian versions, but suffice it to say that they involve siestas and cabbage, respectively.

In other news, the facial hair has evolved past scruffy and can now safely be called a partial beard. I’d say it still gives me scruffyness +2, age +3, and stealth -1. Stay tuned!