Friends, for the next three weeks, I, rice, will assume human form so that I can observe quaint and simple cultures in their native habitats. Yes, you guessed correctly, I am traveling to Europe. My foodtripping adventure begins in Boston, armed with only my Droid and whatever unsecured wireless signal I can find. My mission: to study food and food-like products. My goal: to not shave for the next 3 weeks.

Some may argue that my mission and goal are unrelated. Fools, they fail to understand that food must be experienced using all six senses. Beard-sense is arguably the most important, if not the most overlooked.

So I find myself in logan airport, having just finished a repulsive, overpriced plate of terriyaki chicken, hoping that my next meal will be better than the last. Welcome to beard day zero. Allons-y!