Friends, today we dispel a most unfair reputation.  Centuries ago, the emu-loving propaganda machine successfully injected into the hearts and minds of impressionable youths the idea that chickens were equivalent to cowards. To be called chicken was considered a challenge to one’s courage. Tarring and feathering was a frequently-used dehumanizing technique used to punish society’s miscreants. All the while, chickens around the world could do naught but wonder why their name was transformed to such a pejorative term. 

Today, we have the opportunity, nay the responsibility, to reverse this eggregious trend.  The chicken is a beatiful animal. Not a coward, the chicken will charge, almost unknowingly, into any battle. Its random movements disguise its true intentions to catch its opponents offguard, and even when beheaded, the chicken tarries on.  

I am chicken. I am every chicken. As long as the tar is of a lukewarm temperature, you can tar and feather me any day, and I will wear my feathers with pride.  Oh brave chicken, thank you for having the courage to be delicious. Keep on clucking, noble bird, keep on clucking.