Dear Rice,
While I was at the grocery store looking for brussels sprouts, I came across teriyaki sauce. Growing up, I was taught that flavorful spices and sauces, especially those of the Asiatic peoples, would led to decadence and decay. Thus I ate chicken, potatoes, and brussels sprouts plain. As I branch out with my life and try new things, could you help me out and explain to me exactly what this mysterious sauce should be used for?

Sincerely,
A Teriyaki Virgin

Dear TV,
You pose a legitimate question–one that I have asked myself on many an occasion. How can we hold true to our isolationist American culture while still enjoying everything our jingoistic outbursts provide? Can we build an 8 foot concrete wall on the Mexican border, but install a small take-out window for tacos? Would cheap Chinese food still be as delicious if it were made by a non-illegal alien?

To reconcile the great teriyaki disparity we turn to a man from the orient, General Sun-tzu, who in the 5th century B.C., said that for one to succeed, one must keep his friends close and his enemies closer. With this in mind, the answer is clear. In order to recognize the dangers that these exotic marinades pose to impressionable males, we must study them. To fully combat the yellow fever which they induce, we must consume them, and in doing so, we neutralize a critical weapon in the oriental arsenal. Wars of the future will be fought not on the battlefield but in the kitchen. The masses think not with their minds but with their stomachs. The Romans understood this. So did Ben and Jerry. Now, so shall we. And if we perfect the delicacies of East-Asian flavorings, we will become the masters of all cuisines, and the world shall tremble at the taste of our delicious.

In short, I highly recommend marinading chicken with teriyaki sauce and then stir frying with red peppers and bean sprouts. I hope this answers your questions. Feel free to send more questions to — delicious [at] chickenandrice [dot] org— and a member of the chicken and rice team will be happy to respond.

Sincerely,
Rice