I first saw Brownie while waiting in a line to pay for my food at the local cafeteria. Quiet, unassuming, and just out of reach, it tempted me. It taunted me with its deliciousness, dared me to step out of line to grab it, and in doing so potentially cursed to go to the back of the line, and therefore set in motion a series of events that would doom the rest of my lunch to cold and inedible fate, and leave me unsated for eternity.

I looked back. The individual behind me was distracted. I knew this was my moment. My one chance. My opportunity of a lifetime. I took two steps to the left and grabbed it. “Huzzah!” I screamed aloud. Two quick steps to the right and I was back in line. No one noticed. I was the champion.

I put my tray down and started consuming my food, staring at the brownie, already tasting its chocolaty, cake-like consistency. Whoever said to eat dessert first had no understanding of suspense. I looked at my watch. 12:57. I had lost myself for too long, and was now going to be late for my next meeting.  I hastily threw Brownie into my backpack and hurried away.

The meeting was endless. Finally 3:00 arrived, and I dashed to my desk. I started searching. And searching. And searching. Pocket after pocket, compartment to compartment, the brownie was no where to be found. I started the search from scratch. The result was the same. I considered searching a third time, but the scientist in me prevailed. The brownie was gone, and no matter how many times I searched my backpack, it would not appear. I gazed into the distance. Nothing was there. Then I went to the store and bought a cookie. It was delicious.

In honor of every Halloween, we made the titles of our posts orange, from the blog’s inception. In honor of this Halloween, we give you this:

The Nobel Committee has decided that there is no point in waiting until 2010 to announce the winners, saying that nothing can possibly alter its unanimous opinion on the matter. They announced the results (below) to cheers in Detroit, Kansas, and parts of California.

Nobel Prize in Medicine: Barack Obama, for the glorious success of his healthcare reform.

Prize in Economics: Barack Obama, for single-handedly fixing the world economy.

Nobel Prize in Literature: Barack Obama, for his 2012 Inauguration speech.

Nobel Prize in Physic: Barack Obama, for inventing fusion power.

Nobel Prize in Chemistry: Barack Obama, for metabolizing sugars inside his own body.

Nobel Peace Prize: Barack Obama, for making peace with the Martian invaders.

World leaders, too busy kissing Obama’s ass, were unavailable for comment.